Father's Day

“The longer we live,
The more of your presence
We find, laid down,
Weave upon weave
Within our lives.”

— John. O'Donohue "For a Father"

I am honoring all the fathers, living and deceased, today. In our culture, father relationships can come with a lot of complexity, impacted by war and trauma that have a direct bearing on our own experience of growing up. We also bear their gifts that guide us in raising our own children.

In 2012, I had the privilege of co-faciliitating a workshop with Joanna Macy called Male Mysteries in the Great Turning. It was the second workshop Joanna offered with men only. We went deep into the complexity of male-male relationships, especially father-son dynamics. As a tribute to our time together at the workshop, I put the following video together.

The Power of the Heart Moves Us Forward into a New Era

In the first part of November 2018, I had the opportunity and privilege to offer the Work That Reconnects in China, as a board member of the Holistic Centers Network.  All the board members were invited to participate in the first Holistic International Wellness Forum in Beijing. Each of us were asked to do a 30-minute presentation at the conference, and I followed up with a 3-hour workshop introducing the Work That Reconnects.

I arrived at Beijing airport in the late evening and was welcomed warmly by the translator. I was quickly ushered off to our driver, who merged into a sea of late model cars that clogged the Beijing Airport. I learned that 20 years ago, roads in China were absent of automobiles; only bicycles and motorcycles were the primary mode of transportation. But this is modern Beijing, a city of twenty million, living in dense clusters of high-rise apartments throughout the city.

We arrived at the Fuan Gong Hotel, part of the "Grand Epoch City" located in the Xianghe Economic & Technical Development Zone of Hebei Province.  This area is a 1/6th scale model of the old walled city of Beijing . It contains temples, fountains, ponds, a 27-hole golf course, among other things, and has hundreds of thousands of replicas; all within the "city's" walls.

I was surprised by the grandeur of this palatial hotel and how graciously we were treated throughout the entire conference. This being my first time in China, my knowledge of China was quite limited. I knew that it was run by the Communist Party and that economic reforms began in 1978, soon after the death of Mao Zedong. China is a land of contrasts: coal-burning plants, citizens wearing masks to protect from the air pollution, traffic congestion. Yet China is also leading the way in creating life-sustaining technologies and eco-villages.

The conference hall was equipped with all the modern media equipment, an array of lighting, and professional Masters of Ceremonies. It felt like the Academy Awards in the United States. The 700 conference attendees represented social services, hospice, early childhood education, and many other socially conscious professionals. I could feel the genuine interest in what it means to be ‘holistic’ and intimately interconnected. Many of the Western presenters shared their own journeys of transformation and personal growth in relationship to the development of their own centers, including Findhorn, Omega Institute, the Haven, Breitenbush Hot Springs, and Esalen.

Since the theme of the conference was 'The power of the heart moves us forward into a new era,’ I chose the Work That Reconnects as my presentation and workshop topic. This work has been offered at many of the Western centers that were represented at the conference. China is new territory for the Work That Reconnects, and as far as I know, only a few facilitators of the Work (Della Duncan and Hide Enomoto) have offered workshops in China.

I created a Powerpoint presentation for an overview of the Work That Reconnects, which included open sentences on the Great Turning, a short video from Joanna Macy on ‘Befriending Our Despair,’ and ended with inviting the 700 participants to stand up behind their seats and sway to the beautiful music of the Elm Dance. Many participants asked where to get the music, and I found out later that a group of kindergarten teachers wanted to teach the dance to their children. As Western presenters, we were subject to endless selfies with the participants, as an expression of their gratitude.

The 3-hour workshop the following day was attended by 90 people. Again, the enthusiasm and openness they showed was quite moving as we went through the Spiral. After a milling exercise, we moved into open sentences on gratitude, viewed the trailer of Midway by Chris Jordan to segue into Honoring Our Pain for the World, followed by open sentences.  We ended with the history and teaching of the Elm dance. 

How the Work That Reconnects can address cultural differences is a topic that needs to be explored more fully so we can be more relevant in sharing the Work in China. I also had some discussion on how we might proceed to translate Coming Back to Life and Active Hope into Chinese.  There were several invitations to offer the Work in China.  I will be exploring these new possibilities and connections, which we can offer facilitators of the Work That Reconnects as we go forth into the future.

Finding Beauty as an Everyday Practice

Looking at our current political landscape and the everyday deluge of media that I find difficult to digest, an antidote for me, is to recognize the beauty that is ever present. To witness this beauty, not as a way to mask the feelings associated with denial, but to balance the grief I feel at a personal and collective level, allows me to be more fully present in the world. Francis Weller, a psychotherapist and author who offers grief rituals says " In one hand we carry the sorrows of the world and in the other hand the joy for the world. Bring them together and we have the prayer of life." 

I am writing this, as I look out across the Salmon River estuary as she opens up into the Pacific Ocean in her feminine beauty. I find it quite easy to absorb the beauty of the every-changing river, majestic sunsets, and herds of elk grazing on the meadows.  But I also try to open up to the subtle beauty of a sleeping cat, sunlight illuminating the corner of the room, or the gentle bending of blades of grass in the wind. Many years ago, sitting in meditation, the words "Joy and sorrow in the same breath" came to me. This is always a reminder to cultivate and hold the tension between these two emotions so I can fully participate in life. I offer these words, not to turn away from what is difficult in life, but to open up to the full dimension of being human.

with gratitude,
Werner